From being a Half-Caste

Well, I am not really a half-caste so I do not intend to insult any of the Aboriginal people of Australia by claiming a history which is not my own. But I was so moved after watching the movies the Rabbit Fence and then the movie Australia that I had to write. Being half black and half white myself and searching for most of my life for a place to belong that wants me to belong...without question or conditions was the central question posed by the key Aborginal characters in these movies. B

Both movies are about the Aboriginal women in Australia who were forced by white settlers to mate giving birth to mixed race children. These children, just like me, would be taken from their biological mothers...because they were mixed race and society did not know what to do with them.

During the early 1900's until 1970 mixed race children were taken from their Aboriginal mothers and brought to mission schools to be trained for jobs in the homes of white people. They were not only brought to the mission to learn these jobs but those who were light enough were then bred with white men for the express purpose of breading out of this race of children the black in them. These schools were sanctioned by the government and the children who were taken from their mothers became known as the Stolen Generation.

Since I was taken at birth from my mother(white)and I came to find out I was her first mixed race child, it really hit home. Was I taken because she was unfit or because I was mixed race in 1965 and my mother had 6 other children before me who were white? Did it matter that it was clearly outlined in my adoption papers that my mother was a "white women who was considered very attractive" and my father "a negro of light complexion"?

In both the movies and in my life, the mixed race children fought for a place in one society or the other and felt very strongly about their ties to their black side. In The Rabbit Fence, the young girls gut wrenching fight to belong to what she knew no matter what and her continued fight to return home to her people really struck me. Have I been running to return home, or to even determine what that home is?

In the movie Australia, the young boy says often, "I not white, I not black, I half caste and belong to no where". Unfortunely, this is often how I feel about being mixed race.

There is such an important part of being tied to ones history and being tied to that history in a way where that history wants to be tied to you. Growing up with Parents who chose me was important to me.And being adopted by Black parents cemented where I thought I belonged. But still there is a place deep inside most people that says I am part of something bigger, part of history and a community that is connected through shared experiences that can be passed down and appreciated because they are inherently part of you. This is a feeling and way of being that is part of most people unconsciously and thus truly a privilege that most people do not even know they have. But I know they have it, my kids know they have and unless you are Half-caste and understand the void of that feeling you probably don't know you have it. If you are mixed race you will have to search deep within you to understand that not all belonging comes from outside but from within. And understanding and accepting that premise is the key to peace.

Growing up always being the outsider, in my own community, in the dominant community and in almost all that I do makes me focus on the skills that comes with living in many worlds and understanding that if I have to rely on the outside world for acceptance then I will always be unhappy. While I could be all the ethnicities people have assumed I am...Puerto Rican, Morrocan, Arab etc...I am me, a proud Black women living in multiple worlds with multiple possibilities.